they call me moko

I am still in awe over A. Lorde's book. That lady is my shero! She talks a lot about fear and the more I read the more I understand how I am a slave to my insecurities. I used to think I had a problem with paralyzing fear and before yesterday I thought I was done with it. I was kidding myself. So, I'm confronting my fears. There are no parts of my life that are open to everyone, but because I tell someone something doesn't mean that most or even half of the people I speak to know the majority of the story on me. So here goes...

Yeah I'm in Ndugu and Nzinga. If you are waiting to ostracize me because of it; you are a little late. I've been in it whole heartedly for about a year and I half assed it for a year before that. For those of you who go to CAU and have no idea what I'm talking about, Ndugu and Nzinga are the folks that hang out by that the tree behind Haven-Warren. And they call me MOKO! (Karamoko: she studies the universe) The haircut was because I crossed; the natural was because I joined. I think those are the basics. It is an organization committed to developing holistically "good people." It isn't militant. We don't want to kill whitey and it has NOTHING to do with Spark O.N.E.

And yeah...I'm Buddhist. I've been studying it since I was 12, but my mom and dad weren't to keen on the idea so I didn't start practicing until January of this year. I still listen to gospel music and I read the Bible more than ever. The principles of Christianity are great and I agree with the tenets of loving people and doing right by them. However, Christianity doesn't feed my spirit the way Buddhism does.

Well...I think that those are all the unknowns that I have been fearful of people knowing. The crazy thing is that the people I've been hiding this from I don't really even talk to like that.