i resolve to be a sex-addicted anorexic malaysian cheerleader this year

Yeah...the title is outlandish on purpose. it represents how i have been looking at life for the past 21 years or so. i am a hot smelly mess. thank god that some people choose to tolerate my antics. i contemplated calling my estranged cut friend for a quickie. now i partially want some sex, but i know that that is a BAD idea for many reasons. 1) Unless i am high i will remember mid-stroke that i don't like him 2) i really like someone else that i am insecure about liking 3) i broke off with him on SUPER bad terms (SUUUUUPPPPPEEERRRRR. But because I am absolutely insane I consider the most ridiculous things as options. Ah what a LIFE!