my voice/ ambiguous break up

I am always rediscovering myself and my voice. sometimes i get so submerged in the world that i forget to look inside and that leaves me feeling nutty. anyways the ambig. b/f is kuputz and as much as it feels bad it feels good for a number of reasons.
1. i really am worth a commitment. i think my whole fear of it is really a manifestation of not caring enough about myself.
2. i can stop living in fear that every word i say will somehow change my place in someone's heart. whether or not he evaluated my every action and comment i felt like he did and that feeling was THE WORST. that palpable self consciousness made me needy for his affirmation and scared to share all of myself with him for fear of rejection.
3. back to school work. its bad enough i have senioritis. i don't need to sit around and think about some boy all day long too. i'll never graduate like that.

so overall i'm happy i let it go!