life bubble

people told me that i was sheltered but i had no idea what these so called people were speaking of. i've been to rougher parts of the suburbs, i've lived in what i consider a nicer part of the hood in atlanta, but coming to brazil removed ALL doubt! somedays i feel like i am reliving those great buddha enlightenment stories when he sees poor people his first days outside of his palace. people really live differently. i'm not gonna say better or worse cause i think you can be happy or miserable anywhere, but there are abundant resources around them that most people don't have access to. aight so what am i doing, bitching about something new...no, not exactly! i am observing that i, like everyone, create beauty to remain sane. even if things aren't aesthetically pleasing everywhere homosapiens have this habit of making art out of life. i am picking up all sorts of habits. hmmm this was a bit of a ramble.

fin

home

i am real good at being a nomad, but this one community of people has really made me feel at home. i mean i think i have cool people wherever i go. i have school friends, college associates, people from my block in maryland, but nothing like this. i get so full with joy when i even talk about these people and they literally are so great that wherever i go they come with me. one girl has an album, someone wrote a book, there are painters, actors, philosphers, lawyers, doctors, teachers, poets, web designers, music producers, film makers, dancers, preachers, psychologists, musicians...i am in love with these people and i thank GOD for them every single day. for those of you who know what i am talking about you know how phenomenal they are and i would suggest you get down. for those who don't know, rest assured you will.

the peachtree blues

okay...so i'm a jillion miles away from atlanta, but all this time to myself in rio has really got me thinking about life. i mean since the only english i hear is the stuff inside of my head i've become real deep over the past couple of weeks. lol! so at 21 i've accomplished something like 90% of the thinkgs that i imagnied i could do in my life. piercings...check, random cut buddy check...graduate in 4 yrs with double honors...check, even the most outlandish...brazil...check. the only thing that's left besides surfing at the age of 65 is a boyfriend, husband, kids, family house shabang and oh yeah a phd. i dunno if i should make up more things to do or what, but its starting to irritate me that my only serious boyfriend was at 17. (how serious could that have been) hmmm...in other news this is one of the new milestones in life. my life will now be looked at as post and pre posting these words.

"Sometimes I think I'm from another world (preach)
When I'm trynna tell a woman just exactly where I stand at (aight)
I want a girl, when I want a girl
And when I don't want a girl, I want a girl who understands that
And that's some hard shit to explain
To a woman that's in love with you, it's a pitiful thing
Until I had to figure
That I don't wanna play around, but I don't wanna settle down
And that's a man's dilemma, 'cause every man remembers
How his daddy and his uncles did it
'Cause more than likely that's the way they're gonna do it
I know it sound fucked up and most wont admit it
But yo, I gotta face it 'cause I know I'm living through it
'Cause when the party stops and niggaz get old
And the chain and the cars and the houses get sold, and that
Other side of the bed gets cold, you don't wanna be alone
So girl I'm trynna hold you.."

that's it. its from the minstrel show (go get the album, if ur the last person on earth without it) hope they don't sue me for copyright infringement!

um dia em ipe

it always seems like maturity just sneaks up on me and broadens my view of life without warning. the trip to brasil has been chock full of everything. beautiful mountains, people, and beaches juxtaposed with smog, poverty, and racism. add getting ripped off by my taxi from the airport, being psuedo molested by an old brasilian, and feeling eerily connected to the kids from favellas and you have my first 2 nights in ipenema. although i am staying in a penthouse on the beach i am real CLEAR that this right here is not my life. i have been invited to someone else´s. my emotions have been in overdrive feeling scared and sad mostly. all in all i am very very happy. the sadness and fear are reminders of the struggle that has brought me here. (those of u that know me know what that means.)

in other news...i can´t quite articulate how it is strange to be connected to the US and all the US means without claiming the US as a true home.

this is a life changing experience.